My original plan for the next blog post was to write about the lead up to the end of degree exhibition. Unfortunately the nature of the exhibition has changed dramatically due to the current world health situation. It is looking very much like the show will be held either online or sometime in the uncertain future.
What would I have said before the university decided to close it’s doors?
I have been feeling really on track with all my practical work this term. The start of the year was a mad rush to prepare painting surfaces and just in the knick of time it seemed. I have mad some very unexpected discoveries with paint in recent weeks. I have become much looser in the application of paint. Although the final images may seen very tight, the construction of each is more gestural and free. I have enabled the paint to guide me through this process more than ever before. Attempting to achieve a perfect surface to paint on I ended up with some of my paintings not adhering well to the under layers. This is something I quickly rectified and it won’t be a problem for the couple effected unless one were to scrub them thoroughly!
Since the beginning of third year I have grown a lot more confident in the painting process. I am feeling a closer connection to what I can imagine and what I can achieve – sometimes exceeding my own expectations. I feel there is a lot of milage in the way I paint, each painting raising new questions and avenues to explore. I feel that this is where I should in the degree process and having finished about a dozen paintings to a higher standard than anything I did last term has been so pleasing to me. Maybe it is only I that can see the difference but when one mainly paints for themselves, it seems most important to please yourself sometimes. My painting tutor posed the possibility that other people may not be able to appreciate the effort I go to or the attention to detail I must have to accomplish these works. It is not rare to be under appreciated and I’m know there are millions of people who go unappreciated in their efforts. So in that light then I should think it is okay to not fully understand what steps I go through in order to achieve my results.
I have been seeing myself more as a scientist of late. I like to do a thorough tidy of my studio space at the start of a project or term. It is an important and valuable stage in my process to take stock of supplies, dust, tidy and embed myself in the environment. Everything this term had to be cleaned before and after each painting session. Cross contamination of semi dried paint and dust caused problems last term. Any small marks may have a dramatic effect on my finished pieces as they are incredibly detailed. This is all a very stark contrast to my previous methods of working, although I usually tidy at he start, it soon goes down hill! I feel closer to my father in my current way of working. Everything is very ‘methodical’ and neat. Last term I was rather offended by one of the tutors jokingly making an impression of me working. He grabbed a tube of paint in excitement, limbs flying everywhere in a state of adrenaline. It was admittedly comical but it couldn’t be a lot further from the truth! I am a very particular person – everything has to be just right! I do not just grab stuff and throw them around and somehow accidentally produce abstract landscapes. I digress!
One effect this unmentionable pandemic has had on me, and most likely other art students is the seizure of our finished works up to date. In order for them to be assessed best they must be seen in person. This also means that they had to be somewhat prematurely taken from me and left in my studio space in Old College before it was closed indefinitely. It is a big change to deal with creatively as it is important for me to be able to see my work up close in order to improve and develop. One thing I managed to spend time doing before they closed the university was take magnified images of my paintings. Although it still doesn’t help massive amount. At present I am experiencing the grief of losing my ‘babies’ suddenly, and in great number.
I have been feeling somewhat more productive since moving my unfinished work home. I should be well used to working from home as my fiancé and I have both been home-educated before we came to university. In a way it is a nice change. My productivity this last week has revealed around writing and preparing surfaces to paint on in the future. I didn’t want a repeat of last term when I ran out of surfaces and couldn’t paint until the new ones were ready. This time has been incredibly valuable to give me distance on my work and give me time to contemplate my most recently finished images.
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